Found these conversations in the back of a notebook. As verbatim as they could be without me whipping out a tape recorder.
A mum and two wee girls. The mum is putting on her makeup.
Daughter: Why doesn't it show up much?
Mum: Because I don't want to look like a clown. It just wants to be subtle-
Daughter: Your nose is red.
Mum: That's because I've been sneezing so much.
Daughter: Well stop sneezing, then.
Grandpa & grandchildren getting on the train.
Grandpa: You need to learn to be careful on the trains.
Child 1: And on the buses. And in cars.
Child 2: And in flying saucers?
Teenager and two younger cousins discussing their uncle's girlfriend.
Child: Maybe they'll get married and have a baby. Then it would be our cousin.
Teenager: I think they're a bit old for that - they're in their 50s.
Child: Can't you get married at that age?